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Thursday, November 17, 2011

holoblomo day 17: warmth first

note: “holoblomo” stands for Horribly Local Blogging Month, my response to National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) that happens every November. The NaNoWriMo challenge asks writers to compose 50,000 words in a month; I chose 10,000 as my goal. Enjoy.

So here we are.
I’ve already mentioned my heartbreaking decision not to run for President (see “press release” from this past spring), but I must add that I am also glad that my husband has refrained from throwing his hat in the ring as well. I am simply not cut out to be a First Lady, and not just because my arms are too chubby for the job.
It’s the whole Inauguration Day thing.

I always thought Michelle Obama was the bee’s knees, but never did I respect her more than on January 20, 2009, when she managed to look fantastically stylish sans any fleece or down products in sub-zero temperatures, and did not appear to ever shiver or take on a bluish hue. I do, however, recall audibly yelling at the television to both Obamas: Where are your hats, youngsters? You’d better not pull any of that William Henry Harrison crap!
But if I were to ever find myself in the position of spending a January afternoon in an outdoor ceremony covered by hundreds of news gathering organizations and viewed by millions, and not sitting in the back like some committee member that’s not going to get photographed except by accident, mind you, I’d do things a little differently.
First, hat. The Queen of Soul got it right. (I told you two weeks ago, singers are serious about staying healthy!) Still, I would choose something a little more practical, like a nice warm cloche that would also cover the ears, but not the lobes (because earrings are a must when bearing witness to history). 
Second, I would wear a real coat. I say it again: a real coat. Sure, I’d eschew the puffy Michelin Man look, but there’s cashmere and alpaca and all sorts of fabulously warm blends out there that can be tailored beautifully... and if need be, it could always be lined with a layer of down or faux fur. Lining. That is the key. Ms. O did apparently have a lining in that gorgeous little “coat,” but it’s all moot when you wear the coat open. (Unless underneath, one is covered head to toe in ThermaCare heat wraps. Now there’s an idea!)
Third, scarf. Sure, this risks covering up your necklace, but that’s why they invented the Bedazzler.  
Fourth, tights. Sweater tights. Yes, they add bulk, but if the rest of you is already bulked up, then your proportions will still be the same. Or you could wear multiple pairs of hosiery. Or gloriously detailed knee-high leather boots. It’s not rocket science. 
But the world has become a fickle place, and I suppose it’s become a priority for those in the public eye to sacrifice personal safety and comfort in favor of being sweet, delicious eye candy. 
I’ll just have to settle for being full of candy.
And that’s 7220 words.
Yes indeed. Welcome to me.

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