internet debate

So here we are.

There is no such thing as a slam dunk on the Internet. There is no such thing as an uncontroversial opinion, no matter how innocuous it may seem to be. You can’t win. Let me repeat that: you can’t win.

For example, let’s make an innocent little point:

Point: I like cookies.

And now, the rebuttals:

priceland

So here we are. 

If the world was like The Price is Right, everyone would be so happy just to be here. There’d be excitement in the air every day, just because of all of the possibilities.

mixed messages

So here we are, at my 250th post.

I can’t say that I’ve learned a lot from my 249 previous posts, or, for that matter, from my 41 years of living, mostly because everything I’ve learned so far seems to be contradicted by all of the other things I’ve learned.

To wit:

dear singers

So here we are.

Here is mostly what Every Sound Guy/Gal says to singers, more or less:

Hey, man, how’s it going? Okay, so this is your mic, and here’s how the mic stand works. Yeah, it’s the kind you squeeze to adjust… right, like that. You got it. Oh, and it’s better if you slide the mic in from the back when you put it back on the stand. The clip is a little wonky. We good here? Ready to check? 

Now, here is what Every Sound Guy/Gal secretly wants to say to singers, but doesn’t ever say because every sound guy/gal is very laid back and cool and would never want to do anything to mess up a show because he’s/she’s just that professional:

rejection letter

So here we are. 

An odd thing happened when I tried to post something to this web…blah…log earlier this year. I got the following form letter:

apology

So here we are.

Whenever a public figure messes up -- or, rather, messes up and gets caught -- said public figure usually puts on his most contrite face, stands in front of a podium, and no matter what the scandal actually is, recites the same, generic, carefully worded speech: