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Friday, May 13, 2011

so much for that

So here we are.
A little more than two weeks ago, I wrote a post titled “omp!” that I thought was light, silly, and a tad ridiculous. I envisioned the comical, almost satirical concept of a National Prom Night. A massive distraction of tulle and manicures and corsages for adults. How cute and clever I was. 
Yeah... no. 
Yesterday, a nice big feature story in the New York Times informed me that adult proms are apparently now a big hit in the heartland. So much for my comedic take on tradition. It’s not funny when it’s real. In the words of the third-grade me, “now they think I copied*.” 

*I swear, I didn’t trace it. I drew that blog freehand. Honest. 
Parodists and satirists must be having a hell of a time these days. The line between ridiculous and reality is growing thinner and thinner. And if it’s hard for the pros, think of what wannabes like me are up against!
Consider, if you will, my post from September: “a nice little story.” In this absolutely true tale, I am presumed to be a dominatrix when my parasol handle is mistaken for a whip. Thirty years ago, that would have been a rather graphic Three’s Company episode that would have been heavily edited by ABC’s Standards and Practices and changed to be about Janet being mistaken for a “masseuse” because she picked up some extra virgin (!) olive oil for Jack. Today, it’s real and garners not much more than a chuckle.
So I guess it’s really just a matter of time before there are multiple Apples and Pilot Inspectors in every second grade class. By the way, I can’t wait until Ariel becomes the classic grandma name, can’t you? When all the old biddies playing canasta are named Tiffany and Brittany and Amber? 
And it’ll be extra fun when newborns eventually get named by arranging random Scrabble tiles and the most popular baby name of 2055 is Cxylhe. (It works for girls and boys! And drug companies!) Of course, there will still be a soft spot for classic names such as Malia when Ms. Obama wins the 2052 election. 
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think that the concept of President Malia Obama is ridiculous at all. I put that in there just to see if it happens. After all, if there are adult proms today, National Prom Night is surely imminent. So, following that logic, it stands to reason that we’re also going to someday see Sasha Beer, being as that’s what First Siblings do.
You’re welcome. 
Yes indeed. Welcome to me. 

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