long live the queen

So here we are.

You’ll have to forgive the extremely local flavor of this particular post, but I have been moved by some very recent news: after more than three decades of service, longtime New York news anchor Sue Simmons is being dropped by WNBC-TV.

In other words, the Queen of New York City has been fired.

web paranoia

So here we are.

I bet that all web pages are self-aware, paranoid and secretly wondering the same thing:

Why are you really reading this? 

Could it be because I’m about to tell you the secret? The key to happiness, love, and weight loss? 

trophies

So here we are.

Yes, yes, the Academy Awards are tomorrow night. I think I was supposed to put some sort of copyright symbol after “Academy Awards.” Or is that only required after the word “Oscar?” Or, is it not a ©, but rather a ™? I don’t know.

lipstick

So here we are.

This past Sunday night, I was called into action as an emergency replacement to be the announcer of the Writer’s Guild Awards ceremony in New York. This sounds glamorous. It was not. (Standing in the cramped, cable-strewn shadows for several hours straight, even in one’s most comfortable cubic zirconiums and chunkiest heels, is not often listed amongst the dreams of high school seniors.)

I had a great time doing it, though, and even with that pinched-nerve feeling in my legs, it was fun. And part of the fun was pretending that wearing lipstick mattered. 

silly rant

So here we are.

I am very angry regarding Hugo. I am not angry at Hugo, mind you. But I am very angry regarding it.

I loved this film. Loved it. Fell right into its charms, went on the journey, and allowed it to crawl into my heart and wring my eyes dry. 

Until I saw it a few weeks ago, though, I had no desire to see it. At all. 

do not bend

So here we are.

It was an odd situation for me to be in. For some inexplicable reason, my website’s email address had received seven requests for autographed photos in a single week, all from Eastern Europe. I don’t get seven requests in a month... and lately, not even in a year. (This is not a complaint.)

With each new email, a line from Singles played over and over in my head, as spoken by Cliff, the lead singer of Citizen Dick, after reading a lousy review of his band: Just remember one thing... we are loved in Belgium, and in Italy! I was underemployed in America, but somehow, I’d suddenly taken the Czech Republic and Ukraine by storm. 

melted

So here we are.

Yesterday began with four words. Four words in the subject line of an email from my sister, four small, horrible words:

Sarris is on fire.

alumni event

So here we are.

In the dead, gray pall of winter, in the midst of resolutions and reinventions, and after the crazy holiday crush is over, this is a prime time for college alumni organizations all over the country to have various networking events, in the name of jumpstarting temporarily stalled careers. Just for fun, let’s read between the lines of one of these notices and call them what they are, shall we?