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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

holoblomo day 29: f-word

note: “holoblomo” stands for Horribly Local Blogging Month, my response to National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) that happens every November. The NaNoWriMo challenge asks writers to compose 50,000 words in a month; I chose 10,000 as my goal. Enjoy.

So here we are.
I know you don’t expect to hear this from an actor, but I don’t really want fame. Fame is a memorable film from 1980, a somewhat decent TV series, and a great Irene Cara song, but it is a hideous noun. 
Famous is an equally hideous adjective. There are many things I want to be: employed, well-regarded, respected, lauded, professional, in-demand, a size zero... but not famous. It is way too exhausting. Even with the goody bags and free stuff, it’s not worth it. (Being way too exhausting is also the reason I am not a size zero.)

But you can’t have your cake and eat it too, and I suppose that also means you can’t be not-famous and still be a guest on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson. Damn it.
I want to have a lovely chat with a host who’s actually seen the thing I’ve done or read the thing I’ve written. I want to sit across someone who throws out those blue cards and actually attempts to have a two-way conversation. I want to say hi to Geoff and the sweet little dirty rabbit and Secretariat. I want to laugh a genuine laugh. I want to tell Craig Ferguson that I actually own a previously-viewed copy of The Big Tease on DVD and see his reaction. I want to parry with someone who is smart and cynical and quick. And I want a free mouth organ.
So maybe I want to be juuuust famous enough to be on Craig Ferguson’s show. Would it be as hideous or exhausting as regular fame? Maybe. At the very least, it would probably still require very high, very pricey, and very uncomfortable red-soled heels, and starvation.
Hmmm... could be worth it... better start saving and starving...
And that’s 13,612 words. 
Yes indeed. Welcome to me.


  1. Just by watching occasional segments on Youtube (I don't live in the US so I don't get CBS) Craig Ferguson is the only late night host who makes me laugh(besides Conan O'Brien maybe).

    Hey, we should make it work. Just stalk him long enough. Or win a Tony again (even better, you personally this time, not just the musical you're in). Or a Grammy (again you, and not just the cast recording; but hey, this just made me realize you're kind of halfway to EGOT! And you so should have won an Emmy for your guest starring in Scrubs (also: I'm sure Sesame Street won a couple of Emmys), and I'm sure we find something Oscar worthy for you).

    So, yes, I want to see you on his show. I really, really do! Famous or not.

    (also I realized I use far too many parentheses when writing. I'll stop now with my semi-non-coherent fanboy ramblings. But let me just say that I really enjoy reading your daily holoblomo blog posts)

  2. To Chrisis---

    Your comment is very sweet. Just so you know, AVENUE Q's cast album lost the Grammy to WICKED, but I was a tiny part of two Grammy-winning Sesame albums, and yes, Sesame has also won many Emmys... which is lovely, but I wouldn't dare to say that being part of these award-winning projects is the same thing as winning an award.

    And stalking never ends well.

    Still, yours are kind thoughts indeed, and much appreciated.

    I love parentheses (as well as dashes and ellipses), and use them often, as you well know. I'm very glad that you've enjoyed HoLoBloMo and my own semi-non-coherent ramblings...