note: “holoblomo” stands for Horribly Local Blogging Month, my response to National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) that happens every November. The NaNoWriMo challenge asks writers to compose 50,000 words in a month; I chose 10,000 as my goal. Enjoy.
So here we are.
I know you don’t expect to hear this from an actor, but I don’t really want fame. Fame is a memorable film from 1980, a somewhat decent TV series, and a great Irene Cara song, but it is a hideous noun.
Famous is an equally hideous adjective. There are many things I want to be: employed, well-regarded, respected, lauded, professional, in-demand, a size zero... but not famous. It is way too exhausting. Even with the goody bags and free stuff, it’s not worth it. (Being way too exhausting is also the reason I am not a size zero.)
But you can’t have your cake and eat it too, and I suppose that also means you can’t be not-famous and still be a guest on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson. Damn it.
I want to have a lovely chat with a host who’s actually seen the thing I’ve done or read the thing I’ve written. I want to sit across someone who throws out those blue cards and actually attempts to have a two-way conversation. I want to say hi to Geoff and the sweet little dirty rabbit and Secretariat. I want to laugh a genuine laugh. I want to tell Craig Ferguson that I actually own a previously-viewed copy of The Big Tease on DVD and see his reaction. I want to parry with someone who is smart and cynical and quick. And I want a free mouth organ.
So maybe I want to be juuuust famous enough to be on Craig Ferguson’s show. Would it be as hideous or exhausting as regular fame? Maybe. At the very least, it would probably still require very high, very pricey, and very uncomfortable red-soled heels, and starvation.
Hmmm... could be worth it... better start saving and starving...
And that’s 13,612 words.
Yes indeed. Welcome to me.