web paranoia

So here we are.

I bet that all web pages are self-aware, paranoid and secretly wondering the same thing:

Why are you really reading this? 

Could it be because I’m about to tell you the secret? The key to happiness, love, and weight loss? 

Could it be because I’ve got all the dirty secrets about your favorite personalities? 

Could it be because I have brainwashed you into thinking that because I have ads and high search results that I am somehow important enough to be listened to?  

Could it be because I created that kick-ass misleading headline? 

Could it be because I baited you with a photo of an adorable baby, puppy, or combination of the two... and promised video of romping?

Could it be because you messed up at Googling?

Could it be because you are just that bored at work?

Could it be because you just love those wacky news stories that quite possibly aren’t really true?

Could it be because the story link started with HOW TO?

Could it be because the story link ended with an ellipses and you just had to see how it ended?

Could it be because you adore my author and can’t wait to read the next clever syllable?

Could it be because you despise my author and are a glutton for punishment and/or a prolific author of angry, fist-shaking comments?

Could it be because you need just a few more minutes of eye strain so you can finally have a reason to get some new glasses?

Could it be because you thought there’d be nudity?

Could it be because the headline read that Someone Famous died and you just had to see who it was?

Could it be because you just couldn’t wait to see the latest untruths?

Could it be because you thought this was the page that told you how you could get rich with this one easy tip?

Could it be because you’re running low on your recommended daily allowance of schadenfreude?

Could it be because you like any and all entertainment that’s free?

Or is it just because the rest of the Internet is closed?

Yes indeed. Welcome to me.