So here we are.
I have been so selfish. All this time I’ve been writing about me and my adventures, or my lack of adventures, or the contents of my discontent. But I’m sure that there’s been so much going on with all of you that I’ve just plain ignored. This is just plain wrong of me. I bet you’ve been doing great things. And I’m pretty durned positive that you’ve had a couple of birthdays in the past two years.
So happy birthday! Hooray for you! Isn’t it great to get older? Or, depending on how old you are or how you feel about aging, doesn’t it suck to get older? But boy howdy, wasn’t your cake tasty? Or maybe you had an unconventional birthday dessert... perhaps pie, or donuts, or maybe even a lovely cheese platter, or a giant tub of birthday guacamole. Or just a bottle of wine drunk in a bathtub. No matter what it was, I bet it was tasty. And even if it wasn’t tasty at all... yup, you had a birthday! You were fantastic that day!
Of course, you are fantastic on other days, too, days that aren’t your birthday. You do wonderful things every day! You get out of bed on days that aren’t worth getting out of bed for! That is an accomplishment, my friends, and kudos to you. You contribute to the world by expelling carbon dioxide that feeds the trees who in turn give us oxygen so we can all take a deep breath and enjoy a nice Hot Pocket every now and then. Your tears water those trees, don’t they? Thank you for that.
You contribute to our ecosystem, you top of the food chain, you. You eat things, and you watch things, and you buy things. And you do it really, really well, too. That is not just important, it is vital.
Thank you for being you, whoever you are. Thank you to those who eat candy so that the candy companies stay in business and so I am not the only one out there who is eating candy. And thank you to those who do not eat any candy at all so your teeth stay nice and healthy and pretty and have thin thighs that I can aspire to.
That thing you did that time? That was awesome. That other thing you did that other time? That was equally awesome. Oh, and that great thing you said once that just said it all, so eloquently and succinctly? Oh, boy, that was really fantastic. You are a rock star. I know, everyone says that everyone is a rock star, but I mean it. You really are.
The world is spinning, faster than you’d think, and you are still holding on. What are the odds that we would all be right here, right now, at this time? You made it to this day, to this moment, to this now. That’s not nothing. Good for you!
You are a person in the world. That is incredible.
Hooray for you, you.
Yes indeed. Welcome to me.