Right now, the "web…blah…log" is not being updated regularly, but feel free to peruse the archive, and check out our carefully selected highlights from Season One, Season Two, and Season Three.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

at 40

So here we are.
Today, I am officially middle-aged. I hate it. Of course, I also hate that I hate it, because that just makes me seem like a great big cliché. Thank God I don’t drink much, because the thought of adding a giant glass of wine to the picture is just too damned stereotypical to bear.

There are pluses, of course. I can justify going to a schmancy restaurant tonight. And I’m that much closer to the age where I can do or say anything I want just because I haven’t died yet.
People ask what I want for my birthday, but I can’t think of any stores that carry reversal of gravity or a sensible Congress. 
I truly don’t remember all 40 of my birthday wishes, but if I did, I bet they would go something like this:
At birth: I wish I knew what was going on here.
At 1: I wish I could talk in complete sentences. 
At 2: I wish I had all my teeth.
At 3: I wish I could live in the TV with all the happy people.
At 4: I wish I could go to Disneyland.
At 5: I wish I could eat ice cream every day.
At 6: I wish I could fly.
At 7: I wish that math wasn’t stupid.
At 8: I wish I could get my ears pierced.
At 9: I wish Santa Claus was real.
At 10: I wish I was old enough to be taken seriously.
At 13: I wish I could get that boy to like me.
At 15: I wish I was old enough to drive.
At 18: I wish I was old enough to drink.
At 20: I wish I could figure out what I want to do with my life.
At 22: I wish I was old enough to rent a car.
At 25: I wish I could repay my student loans.
At 30: I wish I was 25.
At 35: I wish I was 30. 
At 40: I wish I could eat ice cream every day.
Crap. Now it won’t come true.
Yes indeed. Welcome to me.


  1. Now that you're that age, nobody wil stop you from eating ice cream every day. Just saying...

    Anyway, happy birthday and enjoy the fancy schmancy restaurant (I sure would).


  2. Happy, happy birthday! I know just what you mean about hating that you hate it. But it gets better. :)

  3. Happy Birthday to you! I started following your blog a few months ago after watching the Scrubs musical for the 20th or 30th time and thinking "I wonder who that beautiful girl with the voice of an angel that played the girl hearing all that singing is".

    And so, here I am months later getting to congratulate you on a milestone I wish was ten years in my own future, and not over a year behind.

    I love your humor and look forward to each and every blog post. I just wish NBC could find a way to make Thurday nights worthwhile again (sorry - I know how you feel about Community) and think they should give some serious thought to sitting down with you over a coffee, and discussing your ideas for a new pilot. (I guess that would be terribly unfair to put that much pressure on you since you would have known nothing about this pilot and would have had no time to come up with anything)

    I enjoyed reading the 30 days of what evolved into the holoblomotogofothesho (sorry, I lost track of the actual name after a while - there were a lot of abbreviations flying around during that whole series)

    Your birthday post caught me particularly on ages 3, 6 and 20. Ahhhhh, do I remember them well and can completely relate! (Still wish I knew what I wanted to do with my life)

    Anyway, just wanted to drop in to tell you I think you are a great talent, you have one of the best (comical) writing styles I've ever had the pleasure of reading, and I look forward to reading more from you! (Also I am eternally jealous that you got to work with the cast of Scrubs - that was my favorite show ever.)

    Happy Birthday Stephanie, and may the songs in your head always be pleasant ones!

  4. Happiest of birthdays!

  5. Golly... thanks to all you nice commenters old, new, and anonymous...

    And for the record, I am aware that I could in fact eat ice cream every day, what with being a grown-up and all, but it would most certainly create a problem with pants.